Letting Go of Control

Running and chasing are both ways of controlling the connection. The person who is “chasing” is trying to control by getting the other to acknowledge the connection. They are afraid that if they can’t get through to the other person or if they leave the other to their own devices, that they will be forgotten.

The person labeled as the “runner” fears being seen and losing control of the situation. Not responding to the other is a way for them to feel that they are retaining control of everything. They fear the other person seeing who they truly are or getting lost in the connection.

When you chase your twin, you leave them no other role than runner. What would happen if you stopped chasing? Dropped expectations? Just stood still? Allow this situation to unfold on it’s own and see what happens.

Twin flames are an energetic connection. The more you let go, the more the other feels it and is drawn in. This energy is flipping back and forth between you all the time, whether you are conscious of it or not.

If you are chasing, there is only a push force. Have you ever stopped your role and just stood still? Did you feel disconnected from your twin? This is because if you felt them going through the pull towards you, you would go right back to chasing and flip the situation back.

Eventually, balanced is achieved. Neither pushing nor pulling. Just allowing. This is what spirit is helping twin flames with now. This can also be seen as a balanced masculine and feminine, or union, within. At this stage, control is surrendered.

One of you will have to go first. That usually means the so called “chaser”. You will have to be brave and let go of control. Let go of all your expectations.

When you chase, you tell the universe that you don’t trust this situation. You aren’t trusting that the universe has a plan for you. You aren’t trusting that there is a reason behind all you have been through. You aren’t fully allowing your growth to happen.

You are sending the message that you don’t trust your twin flame. Your vibration is saying, “If I don’t stay on top of this, if I don’t oversee my connection and my twin, this person is going to be lost to me so I’d better focus all my energy towards them so they will see me.” This is a fear vibration and will not manifest your union.

They are you. How can they ever be lost to you? If you don’t have faith and trust, in the universe, in your twin and in yourself, how can your twin flame? How can your twin flame release their fears and control if you can’t? Your consciousness is connected. Have faith that your twin is working hard to get back to you. I know you want proof of this but proof doesn’t allow for faith and faith is what this process is all about.

You are being asked to be brave right now. You are not seeing the whole picture. At times, spirit holds back the full picture because, let’s face it, often we are our own worst enemies. Something much bigger than you can imagine is unfolding in divine time. Let go. Take a leap of faith and trust that something is going to catch you. Because you need to move on. To union that is.

30 Comments on “Letting Go of Control”

  1. This is so BRILLIANT! So well said, so concise, so perfect! It really struck a chord with me….. I didn’t think of myself as a chaser (well, I did, but not “as bad” as all those other chasers! haha) — but when I read this perspective, it makes me realize that I have been chasing like hell it is just that I disguised it as “trying to fix him and trying to get him to see the real me”… in essence, blaming him. So of course he doesn’t trust me. Man! Hit me like a ton of bricks! thanks! it’s like I already knew all this, but the simplicity of the way you wrote it made it go deeper.

  2. wow, this is so true!! this last meeting of my twin i felt , that feeling of onness, tusting , that he is coming back!!!!! control a big issue!!! just untill recently, it feels so freeing

  3. Thank you for this. I already stopped chasing my twin recently after a year of being stubburn to what the Universe has been telling me all along.

  4. I agree and disagree. I’m at a place I am letting go he is even the right man for me. I’m letting god decide. You can’t have faith without full detachment from outcome. You get to a place you don’t care who you end up with. You want someone who loves you the same back in their actions because you love yourself. You are able to let go and grieve this person as if it’s over forever since you are showing the universe “I am ready for real reciprocated love” and let go of everyone in your reality who is not reflecting this. It’s painful to face these dark feelings of letting them go, but it’s what’s best. I want what’s best for me. I want love that’s shown to me back. I need a balanced partner, no matter who god chooses I deserve that and nothing less. If it’s not this person at all I’m happy with it because god knows better than me. As of now he does not match my desires at all as far as core things, like how he treats me. So it’s not a big loss if he never comes back because as he is he is not the right man for me. God may have another plan for us. He may go down a destructive path, make a poor husband in this life- you NEVER know. God knows what path is best for you for a reason you may not understand for a long time. We surrender all. Let go of the labels and fantasies because you will miss he boat and be stuck in pain forever without anything good manifesting- very sad so many stuck in that twin flame attachment and label.

    Faith is letting of it ALL go. As it’s over. Facing those dark places. Healing into wholeness. You can only heal into wholeness when you are ready to grieve losing them forever because you know true love is waiting for you once you take the self loving actions to let go of less than. People mistake this for romance. We hear time and time again, it’s only about you- your relationship with yourself and until you love yourself and let go of less- true love can’t come your way in whatever form god chooses for your journey.

    1. Thank you Sarah,

      I came here looking for answers and some help with this painful feeling of confusion and tired of “waiting for my Twin.

  5. I have never commented on a post but this was so eloquently written, beautiful, and exactly what I needed. Thank you!

  6. NEEDED THIS EXACTLY RIGHT NOW! Thank you for reminding me why I don’t ever need to chase anymore. This brought so much hope back to me. THANK YOU!

  7. NEEDED THIS EXACTLY RIGHT NOW! Divine timing is amazingly! Thank you for reminding me why I don’t need to chase anymore. This brought so much hope back to me. THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤️

  8. the twin flame feelings easily turn into attachments and can be like a sausage that is hanging in front of a dogs head.
    the universe seems to do this in order to train you to become more mature and stable. balance seems to be the key – don’t push or pull, as stated before.
    i dont know if that will bring the twin back but at least that seems to be the most constructive way to deal with this partly nasty situation.

    much (self-) love

  9. I just read this, 05/28/2019, and I love how clear you were. I have been the chaser for what seems like eternity, but in reality about 2 years now. I did quit chasing completely in April 2019. I truly appreciate this information and have received confirmation that completely letting go is definitely the right choice.

  10. Thank you for this clarification of universal laws at play here. I have major trust issues and feeling that I went through hell and bd I for nothing made me very miserable lately.
    Yet in the deepest corner of my heart I never lost faith that there is a reason beyond what I can fathom right now to all of this. So it is my inner voice, the wisdom within that is helping me accept and trust.
    To me letting go was easier that accepting the ‘why’we Ever met.
    No longer attached to the idea or even possibility of union, I simply feel blessed to have encountered loved and been loved by my devine counterpart in real life knowing that this love will never die no matter the distance. Trusting the truth of our love beyond all earthly obstacles is my consolation and helping to accepting that it is over.
    Inner peace and gratefulness are helping me surrender and move on.

  11. This morning, I decided to stop chasing my twin soul, after months of trying, at first he was the one telling me how much he loved me, then he said I had to find myself, love myself…. I never gave up, I cannot keep chasing, it’s taken over my life, I get nothing back, today I said no more, now is has just disappeared again…. any advice would be great… this whole twin flame thing, is damm exhausting…. the love is a killer like nothing I have ever known….

    1. Not chasing is a good first step. The twin dynamic works through the self, meaning we have to focus on our self healing and learn to trust the the process is guided by the divine at all times. Surrender is the major lesson we all have to learn.

  12. Wow, I just printed this and put it in my purse for ongoing reference. Words of wisdom! Thank you, blessings.

  13. After months of struggling with this entire process, my friend (that I think is my twin, but is married) and I decided to terminate our relationship. I am completely head over heels. We have been intimate physically—— bad karma, I know. I THINK he feels similarly to me, but can’t be sure. There has been this back and forth, push and pull between us almost the entire time we’ve been friends.

    We decided to end the friendship because I told him I was in love with him and couldn’t be “just friends”.
    I cried like I’ve never cried before. Felt like my soul was being ripped out of my chest by the handful.

    Today, I find this article. Nearly 3 years after it was written. Like it was sent directly to me. I’m thankful.

    If he and I really are twins, I guess we are now in “separation”.

    I am vowing to let go and have faith.

    Thank you for your words.

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