As Venus starts her retrograde, I feel compelled to bring up the topic of soul connections and feeling pain related to them. When we feel pain, whether it’s from our twin flame, false twin, soul mate or karmic partner, we are really being shown where we have a weak spot. We are being shown where we are giving our power away and lacking healthy boundaries.

Everyone is here to teach us lessons. It really doesn’t matter what label we give the other person, what matters is getting in touch with what we are being shown so that we can correct it. The bottomline is we don’t need to continue suffering.

Many people on the path of ascension start out with weak boundaries due to childhood trauma and past life situations. Most are empaths and have been trained to push aside their own needs and desires in order to avoid conflict. This is an old template and cannot be carried forward with the new divine feminine and divine masculine energies. Yes, men lack boundaries just as much as women do.

Let me say this again because it’s important. You can’t create a balanced union if you are pushing aside your own needs and desires. If you don’t honor your own needs, you won’t build healthy boundaries and you’ll continue to give your power to others.

Many people ask, will your true twin flame cause you pain? If you are working on this template you will feel as if they are causing you pain. Everyone’s tolerance for pain and what everyone needs in order to see the boundary issue is different, which makes it very difficult to set guidelines as many want to do. Some say your twin will never cause you pain and some say twin flames always cause extreme pain.

Many hear “your twin flame will not cause you pain” and misconstrue what this means. They think that because their twin flame has left them or is not responding to their text messages and they feel pain that this must be a false twin. Your twin will trigger areas that you need to heal and has long has you are giving your twin your power, this will indeed feel painful. However, in the above cases, this is not your twin causing you pain, it’s your emotional body being triggered because your twin isn’t doing what you want or expect.

There are many possible scenarios that can cause pain. Regardless of the connection and the situation, it’s important to see that the pain is there for you to examine something within yourself. This is where you need to step into your power.

Again, it doesn’t matter what label we assign them. If this person were not your twin flame, would you allow yourself to be treated this way? If the answer is no, put up a boundary. Many have difficulty here because they love their twin flame so much, that they fear their twin flame will run away and so they do nothing.

This is the wrong stance to take because your true twin flame wants you to set the boundary. If it is your true twin they will return. This is where trust comes in. Remember, your twin is here to help you step into your power that is why they are triggering you in the first place. Keep in mind this is likely all happening subconsciously for them.

Setting better boundaries will give you clarity around whether someone is a false twin. If someone doesn’t respect you, you have to let them go. As stated above, if it’s a true twin flame they will return.

The truth is, real twin or false twin, the answer should always be the same. Abuse of any kind should not be tolerated. Choose yourself and your own peace of mind. Don’t tolerate others treating you disrespectfully.

Many people hang on because they feel that the person will change or that they can heal them. Let go of this idea. Even of it is your true twin flame, they don’t need you to change them or save them so don’t use that as an excuse. They will take care of themselves.

Also, in the case of twin flames, this is one soul in two bodies, here to help each other grow, not destroy each other. While I can’t say with certainty that it’s impossible for your twin to abuse you, I will say it should be a huge red flag which requires deep reflection on your part as to whether this is truly a twin flame relationship.

You are here to be a sovereign being. Please understand that if you are allowing someone else to control your emotions or your thoughts, you aren’t in balance. If there is no balance within, there will be no physical reunion without. At least not one that last for any length of time.

What can you do? Start by taking control of the situation. Realize the pain is coming from inside of yourself. In many cases, it’s your inner child crying out as old wounds are triggered. Your inner child wants you, has the adult, to set the boundaries he or she needs to feel protected. Remember, you can’t control others, you can only control yourself. If someones behavior is causing you pain, step away from the person.

If someone runs away because you confronted them about their behavior, accept that they aren’t willing or able to do what you require at that time and let them go. If this person is a soul connection, they will return when they can work within your boundaries.

Learning how to set healthy boundaries is a process that takes time. Just keep working at it and show yourself lots of compassion. The first step is learning to love yourself and choose yourself in every moment. This is challenging, especially for those that carry the divine feminine template, but it’s a necessary step towards physical reunion. You and your twin are here to stand as equals and that requires you learning to stand up for yourself in a healthy way.